


too many kupo nuts (too many nuts) too many kupo nuts (too many nuts)

by limia



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M, blowjobs???, gift fic for a pal, his name is meteo because meteor is STUPID, i don't usually write cis shit so my brain was like [math lady.gif] the whole time writing this, no beta really im lazy and overconfident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 02:45:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16547333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limia/pseuds/limia
Summary: this is a birthday gift i wrote for a friend i wasn't gonna post it but i wanna start doing fic comms so i need more examples sry @ cabbagewol's name is meteo because i think meteor is a rly awkward name and its like one letter away from mateo which is a real namealso uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a lot of this is so hand wavy just {Don't worry about it.}





	too many kupo nuts (too many nuts) too many kupo nuts (too many nuts)

The wind is as frigid as usual, Meteo keeping his nose buried in the fur of his jacket as he rests against the stone of one of the various mansions that were littering The Pillars. He’d agreed to help out Eliasse with a task- something about a thief that had been pilfering coffers at the Jeweled Crozier, and he’d been tasked with laying counterfeit coins round the area, and see who sprung up. Of course, that meant this was just a waiting game; and he’d been exhausted, barely able to sleep at night due to the cold causing his joints to ache and his head to clog. It was distracting as well- which is how a large Elezen had managed to sneak up on him, the rustling of his armor not disguising his approach at all.

 

“Meteo? Why are you out here? The skywatchers have said tonight is supposed to be particularly frigid, come inside!” Haurchefant urges, not noting how Meteo jumps in surprise at his voice, already so close to him. “Surely you’ve better ways to spend your time than standing out here getting covered.” the larger man says, reaching to Meteo and brushing snow that had accumulated off his shoulders- he hadn’t even noticed. 

 

“I’m… doing someone a favor.” Meteo says, realizing how chapped his lips had gotten while he was standing there, wincing a little as they crack and re-burying his nose into his coat. He ignores Haurchefant’s pitying look, allowing the man to clap a hand to his shoulder, nudging him.

 

“Come- we’re close enough to the manor, let’s get you warmed up.”

 

Meteo peers around for a moment, trying to find any signs of life; he hadn’t realized that the area had cleared out, no doubt preparing to weather the incoming cold. Sighing, he nods, knowing that whoever the thief was, they would be remiss to try to plunder the bags of coins in this weather. He lets Haurchefant steer him towards the Fortemps Manor, not forsaking the opportunity to pretend that he was too weak to continue. ( _ “Oh, no, my legs, they’ve ceased functioning, the cold! The cold! Twas too much for the famed Warrior of Light...” “Alas! I shall carry you to the manor, good ser.” “[Laughter]”)  _

 

They reach the manor after a few moments, Meteo practically tap-dancing as the manor guard fumbles through his chainmail to find the manor key. The second they’re inside, Meteo feels the pain that comes with warmth hitting his frozen cheeks, a comforting sting that makes him breathe a sigh of relief. “Thal’s Balls it’s cold!” he hisses, jogging towards the fireplace and turning towards it, letting his backside absorb some of the heat. Haurchefant follows him at a more languid pace, scooting up next to Meteo and holding his hands out to absorb some of the heat, having discarded his gauntlets as he entered the room. 

 

“You need to learn your own limits, my friend!” he says, and Meteo snorts, knowing full well that if anyone was to chide him for being too exuberant, it wasn’t Haurchefant. “Or, at least pay more attention to the forecast.” The Elezen bumps his hip against Meteo, who laughs.

 

“Forgive me, I’m just. So busy killing Primals and investigating dragons and handing out free kupo nuts to track the weather.” he hums, peering up at Haurchefant. 

 

At his words, he can see Haurchefant’s expression falter a little; he knew how it worried him- fighting Primals, being an ambassador for dragons and Ishgardians alike. But whatever aprehension had filled the Elezen, it doesn’t show long; he smirks, folding his arms. “You’ve not been keeping track of the days either, then?”

 

Meteo’s brow raises in confusion. “Only you would forget your own nameday, Meteo.” Haurchefant teases, and Meteo’s eyes shoot open wide, face reddening. He’d… he’d completely forgotten, with everything going on in the world; how did Haurchefant even know his birthday? 

 

“I. I completely forgot,” he stammers, ears growing red as Haurchefant starts laughing, laughing harder when Meteo shoves his arm. “Hey! You’d forget too if you were stuck in moogle relations for weeks!” he huffs, looking down as he starts to fumble with the buckles of his jacket; he was definitely warming up, and not because Haurchefant had embarrassed him, definitely not.

 

Haurchefant’s laughter trails off as he takes a deep breath, slipping his arm behind Meteo and letting his hand rest against his newly revealed neck, fingers trailing against his skin, fussing gently with the hair that had been growing out there. “You’re lucky I never forget dates, perhaps you should bring me travelling with you as a makeshift calendar?” he teases. Meteo’s skin prickles with warmth at Haurchefant’s touch, subconsciously leaning against his hand and humming.

 

“I  _ have  _ invited you to come along, if you recall,” Meteo mentions, fondly remembering the way Haurchefant’s eyes had lit up the first time he’d asked him to travel along with him. It was unfortunate that he had other obligations- but at least he knew the knight would always be here when he returned from his duties, a warm hearth and heart to greet him. 

 

Haurchefant gives him a genuine smile, shifting a little so he’s facing Meteo, sliding his arms over his shoulders and resting them there. “There’s some advantages to staying here. Being able to treat you on your name day, for example.” he says, biting back a smile when Meteo’s eyes light up. Haurchefant leans down, pressing his lips against Meteo’s forehead and letting a hand slide down his arm, taking his hand. “My father and my brothers are with the Haillenartes tonight, something about discussing family matters? And young Alphinaud and Tataru have taken to the tavern, so that means…” he hums, walking backwards as Meteo follows along, knowing  _ exactly _ what that means.

  
  
  


=============================================

 

Meteo is really regretting not putting any salve on his chapped lips before following Haurchefant into his bedroom. Straddling the Elezen on the edge of the bed, hands wandering, bare hips rolling against each other, lips crushed together- he’s becoming too aware of the splitting that the cold air had done to him. It’s only a few seconds longer before he has to pull away, using his thumb and forefinger to squeeze at his bottom lip. “Owwww,” he grunts, causing Haurchefant to laugh in what Meteo figured was pity, his large hands slipping around Meteo’s hips and squeezing. 

 

“Lay back.” he hums, and as much as Meteo is loathe to stop kissing his knight, the reprieve is welcome. He scoots off of Haurchefant’s lap and falls back against the bed, watching with anticipation as Haurchefant crawls overtop of him, looming above him with an expression that Meteo had only ever associated with ‘hunger.’ “I swear you grow more toned every time I see you.” Haurchefant says, leaning down and pressing his lips to Meteo’s collarbone, trailing along his skin, down to his chest. 

 

Meteo lets out a small laugh, one of his hands coming up to run through Haurchefant’s hair, smirking. “One would think you only like me for my muscles.” he says, watching the way Haurchefant’s shoulders tremble with withheld laughter as he moves down, down, down Meteo’s body, his lips parting from his skin for only milliseconds with each ilm he moves. When he gets to Meteo’s hips, the hyur lets out a small sigh, squirming a little underneath Haurchefant. He’d always been sensitive there, and the elezen had been quick to find that out, always touching and kissing and licking  the soft skin above his thighs. 

 

Haurchefant doesn’t ignore the signs, either; his kisses turn to light nips against Meteo’s skin, making the hyur jump, listening as he laughs softly at the feeling. “I’m glad to see no one else has gotten the same views of your body that I have.” Haurchefant murmurs, his hands sliding up Meteo’s thighs, watching as his skin grows flush with heat.

 

“You’re the only one who leaves such marks, at least.” Meteo teases- both of them know that neither of them have thought to stray from the other, Haurchefant far too enamoured with Meteo, and Meteo never feeling safer in anyone else’s arms. Speaking of marks-

 

Haurchefant gives a harder nip at Meteo’s skin, sucking against the mark he leaves there and staring up at Meteo expectantly. Something about the way Haurchefant looks at him during their intimate hours always sends shivers up his spine; his eyes were always beautiful, but now it felt as if they were staring right through him, a glimmer of the Haurchefant that he’d heard tales of, but never knew. Meteo brings his hand down, resting it on top of one of Haurchefant’s own, nodding slightly. 

 

It’s a testament to how well they know each other, he thinks, as Haurchefant wordlessly takes his cue, shuffling down a little further on Meteo’s body, his free hand nudging Meteo’s thighs apart and nestling between them, lips trailing up between his thighs, teeth leaving deep red marks against the inside of them. Meteo’s eyes close, letting his head fall back against Haurchefant’s pillow. It’s almost agonizing, waiting for his lips to reach Meteo’s cock, but he loved waking up the next morning littered with marks, constellations that Haurchefant leaves him for when the skies are too dark to see. 

 

He’s not left waiting much longer, hips arching as Haurchefant’s lips move from his thigh to his cock, teasing him. “A menace.” Meteo mumbles, causing Haurchefant to grip at his hips, dulled fingernails digging into his skin.  _ You know it, _ he says wordlessly, sucking the skin of Meteo’s cock and feeling as he hardens quickly against his lips. Haurchefant struck gold in that respect- Meteo’s travels had always left him a little pent up, making getting him excited easier than leading a chocobo to water. 

 

By the time Meteo is hard, Haurchefant’s licking long, heavy lines along the length of his cock, making Meteo’s toes curl, trying to control the arching of his hips. “Please,” Meteo practically  _ whines, _ and it’s always so hard for Haurchefant not to laugh. Meteo knows- the concept of the Warrior of Light begging for  _ anything _ seemed ridiculous, but here he was, needing to feel Haurchefant’s mouth around him or he might actually die. He doesn’t keep him waiting.

 

Haurchefant shifts forward a little, pulling away from Meteo’s cock and breathing out a huff of laughter. “You look so beautiful like this.” he says in earnest, smiling as Meteo begins to burn bright red- and then dives down, swallowing Meteo up in one fell swoop.

 

The hyur lets out a heavy groan- he can’t stop his hips from bucking up to meet Haurchefant’s mouth, the warm heat enveloping him and making him crave even more. Haurchefant’s mastered this, he thinks; he can feel the man’s tongue pressing up against the base of his cock as he slowly drags his head back up, making Meteo twitch and squirm beneath him. The pattern continues- quick dips down and slow, torturous strokes up, Meteo daring to risk peering down at Haurchefant. It’s instant regret, he feels, when he can see Haurchefant watching him, never taking his eyes off him, never faltering- oh, Halone. Meteo’s eyes unfocus, letting his head fall back against the pillows once more, trying to keep himself together as Haurchefant sucks and fondles at his cock. 

 

It never, ever works.

 

Haurchefant changes tactics, letting Meteo’s cock fall from his mouth and replacing the warmth immediately with his hand, tugging with rough strokes, his thumb running over the tip of it with precision. “I want to hear you, Meteo,” Haurchefant breathes, obviously a little out of breath from sucking for so long; Meteo hesitates, far too used to keeping himself quiet around others to think about letting loose- but then Haurchefant gives him a particularly rough squeeze and he  _ moans, _ toes curling enough to lift him off the bed slightly, bucking up against Haurchefant’s hand.

  
  


“That’s it,” Haurchefant hums, keeping the pace and watching as Meteo struggles to keep his composure, licking his lips. “I need to hear as much as possible- it’s all you leave me with, you know.” Meteo flushes- it wasn’t fair, how could Haurchefant even focus enough to be flirty at a time like this? But, he relents; each pump of Haurchefant’s hand elicits another moan, another gasp, another whimper, bucking and trying to meet his rhythm. His chest is heaving, the warmth beginning to pool in his gut, his hands digging into the sheets as Haurchefant begins to move slower, slower, and slower still, knowing all too well the great Warrior of Light’s tells.

 

“Don’t-” Meteo hisses, trying to buck his hips against Haurchefant’s hand for more friction,  _ anything, _ but Haurchefant releases his grip before he can manage.

 

And then dips his head back down, swallowing him up once more.

 

Meteo lets out a choked groan as the elezen abandons his teasing, swallowing Meteo down as far as he could go, letting the hyur buck up into his throat and breathe curses with each twitch. “H, Haurchefant-” he breathes, a slightly too-late warning, the heat that had been building within him finally crashing out of him, his hips pistoning against Haurchefant until he cums, barely registering as Haurchefant swallows down every drop, savoring his taste. 

 

Meteo’s mind is a fog, whimpering when Haurchefant’s mouth leaves him, the cold air hitting his wet skin and making him shiver. Haurchefant licks a line up Meteo’s cock before he shuffles up, landing next to Meteo pressing his lips against the hyur’s own, open mouthed and hot. Meteo doesn’t even realize that the taste of his cum was mixed into the kiss, his heart still throbbing hard enough to leave his ears ringing, weak moans passing from Meteo’s mouth to Haurchefant’s. 

 

Finally, he comes down from it, just a little. He breaks the kiss first, swallowing hard and trying to catch his breath. “That was cheap.” he breathes, huffing as Haurchefant brings his thumb up to the corner of Meteo’s mouth, wiping off some of the residual cum he’d brought back. “And gross.”

 

“Ah, but you didn’t object.” Haurchefant hums, popping his thumb in his mouth and smirking when Meteo goes a little pink at the imagery, the hyur’s legs shifting on the bed until he’s managed to push the sheets around enough to cover his feet. “Cold?” Haurchefant asks Meteo, who nods. Haurchefant shifts closer, letting his arm slide over Meteo’s hip and pressing flush against him, their legs tangling together. 

 

Meteo lets out a sigh- he was content, nestling his nose against the crook of Haurchefant’s neck. “I wish I could stay here.” he says quietly, skin prickling as the elezen begins to trail his fingers up and down Meteo’s spine. “At least for a little while. M’tired of moogles.” he huffs.

 

Haurchefant gives a breathy laugh, leaning down and pressing his lips against the top of Meteo’s head. “For now, we’ll make the most of the time we have. You’ve still got an entire name day to spend with me, after all.” he hums, smiling wider when he feels Meteo’s lips press a kiss against his collar. “And though our travels may differ, you may always take comfort in the fact that I love you, and shall continue to do so until you come to the manor covered in Goobue slime and ruin our carpets.” he teases, making Meteo give a snort of laughter, wiggling as close as he could to the elezen.

 

“No promises.” Meteo says, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of Haurchefant’s fingers trailing along his skin. It’s not long before he begins to drift off- the last things he remembers being the elezen’s touch, and the sound of his heartbeat, throbbing in time with Meteo’s.

**Author's Note:**

> be gentle i havent written dick stuff in literal years


End file.
